Can't relax, always thinking about what's next

[tryitout]

Hi silmcoach,

Sorry I haven't posted before now, so busy, but I have come realise that's a bit of a problem for me. How do I stop worrying about the future?

Thanks / TIO

[silmcoach]

Dear TIO,

It is not uncommon in these busy times to find it difficult to switch off and relax, especially for half an hour or so, and then go back to “things that must be done!”

I will describe two situations for which the following technique for managing the mind can help.

(1) Can’t stop thinking about things that need to be done
(2) Thinking interferes with an exercise routine or sleep

(1) This technique is rather like folders on a computer or draws in a filing cabinet. Most concerns can be narrowed down to a few headings, like:

• Home
• Money
• Relationships
• Work

Let’s say you need to focus on carrying out a particular task, like planning something in the future. When you “drift away” from the task in hand, label the interfering thought with one of your headings. If the thought is about paying a bill, then in your imagination move that thought into the folder or filing cabinet draw named “Money”. To start you need to actually visualise moving the thought in your mind and putting it in the storage area, but eventually you will be able to just say, “No, that’s Money” or “No, that’s Work”, and get back to focussing on the task in hand.

If the distracting concern has aroused an emotional response then "shift" that emotion onto the task in hand. If anger is aroused "convert" that into motivation for the task in hand "I will get this ... job done. It's gonna feel great when it is."

(2) When exercising , if distracted by thinking about things that need to done.

If you imagine “doing” the next exercise you won’t be able to think about anything else. So, while rotating the arms forward imagine rotating the arms backwards. For sleep, get into the habit of visualising a particular symbol that you associate with sleep. I always imagine a statue of the Buddha because I associate it with calm.

Best wishes / silmcoach

[tryitout]

THanks silmcoach, i'll give it a go - was gonna say when i get chance - but i see that's the point, i actually have to think to do it. Got it - yes - i need to set a regular time slot and get into the habit of practising the exercise/relax bit.
cheers / tio